If you’re having trouble deciding who to include in your wedding, check out this article all about picking out your groomsmen.
If you’re recently engaged, you’ve probably begun to think about who will stand next to you on your wedding day. Picking your groomsmen can be challenging for a variety of reasons. However, it doesn’t have to be difficult. Keep reading if you need a little help deciding on who to share in your big day.
It may seem obvious, but the first place to look when picking out your wedding attendants is to family members. If you or your soon-to-be-wife have brothers, you may not need to look any further to find the perfect attendants to accompany you on your wedding day.
Too Few Choices?
If neither you nor your wife has brothers, think about what other family members you may want to include in your special day. Do you have a cousin that’s been your best friend since childhood? Maybe you’d like to feature an uncle or your father in your wedding celebration.
It can be tempting to only look to your peers to find wedding attendants. However, no rules say that the men standing by your side have to be your age. If you want, you can feature older or younger relatives that you’d like to include in your special day.
Too Many Choices?
If you have so many family members that it is difficult to choose only a few for your wedding party, start by deciding on how many men to include. By setting the number of people, you will feature you give yourself a limit to work within. With this limit in mind, it will be easier to pare down the number of people you are considering.
Regardless of how many family members you have. It is essential that you consider who your wife may want to include in the wedding party. If both you and your wife have many brothers, consider asking if she’d like to add any of her brothers in the wedding party.
While you may not feel as close to these men as your brothers, it shows that you are genuinely committed to blending your families with your nuptials. Additionally, your wife is likely to feel honored that you would consider her family as equal to your own.
Best Friends As Your Groomsmen
Aside from close family members such as brothers and cousins, another pool of likely candidates for wedding attendants is your group of closest friends. If you’ve had a best friend since childhood, you’ll probably want to include them in your wedding day.
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It can be even more difficult when picking wedding attendants if you have a lot of close relatives and a lot best friends. In this situation, it is essential that you and your bride consider how many people you want to feature in your ceremony. It may be tempting to add in more spots for the people you love, but in reality, you will have to make some tough choices.
If including your best friend is crucial to you, be sure to let the people planning your wedding day know. It is better to be honest from the get-go with everyone involved so that you can avoid hurting anyone’s feelings.
Another option when deciding how many men to include by your side is only to have one or even none at all. Minimizing the number of attendants featured in your wedding will keep the focus on you and your bride. Additionally, this strategy works well if you have too many people to choose from or too few. However, discuss this with your bride before deciding.
A Good Speaker
Whether you plan to feature close friends or members of your family. It is vital that you look for at least one groomsman who is an excellent speaker. It is traditional for the Best Man to give the first toast at the wedding reception, so choosing someone with experience in public speaking can be an excellent choice.
Speaking on the topic of public speaking, keep in mind that all of your wedding attendants are going to be spending a significant amount of time with your other friends and family. You may care genuinely for a friend or relative that is known for speaking his mind. But including him could lead to some embarrassing situations.
In addition to speaking publicly at your wedding receptions, groomsmen are generally responsible for seating at least some of your guests. If your goal is to make a good impression with your loved ones, feature friends and family members with an excellent reputation for being tactful and polite.
As a final note, if none of your friends or family members are particularly good at public speaking, consider asking someone else to make the first toast. While it may be unconventional, you shouldn’t miss an opportunity to feature your most cherished loved ones in your wedding just because of tradition.
While many people enjoy the honor of being included in the wedding of a loved one, some may not have the time to shoulder the inherent responsibilities that come with the job. As mentioned earlier, the groom’s attendants typically help usher guests to their seats on the big day. But that is not their only responsibility. Other responsibilities include but are not limited to:
- Keeping the Groom Calm
- Holding the Wedding Rings (Best Man)
- Attending Pre-Wedding Events
- Hosting or Helping with the Bachelor Party
- Arranging Transportation for the Groom
- Assisting Guests and other Wedding Attendants
As you can see, the responsibilities of the groom’s attending men are widespread and may vary depending on the couple getting married.
Many friends and family are happy to help as much as they can, but some do not have the time. Careers, personal responsibilities, and family obligations can all be barriers to performing the duties listed above.
If someone does not realistically have the time to dedicate to helping you plan and execute the perfect wedding day, don’t be offended. As we all know, life can be overwhelming at times, and it’s better to consider what your potential groomsmen can manage before making any final decisions.
When considering who you want to stand next to you on your big day, it’s important to choose people that can afford the costs that come alongside being in a wedding. It is traditional that the wedding attendants pay for their attire. Also, these men are typically expected to attended and host some of the pre-wedding celebrations.
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Keep in mind that financial struggle is usually a delicate subject matter for those experiencing it. Never tell a friend or family member that you're excluding them because you’re worried that they can’t afford it. Also, if it is important to you to include someone who cannot handle the financial burden of being in your wedding, offer to pay the expenses for them.
If you cannot shoulder the added cost of paying for someone’s formal attire, choose someone that can afford it for themselves. Be upfront with your potential attendants about what your budget is and what they will be responsible for.
Do Groomsmen Have to be Men?
While it is traditional for men to stand next to the groom during the wedding ceremony, there is no reason that you can’t shake things up.
Feel free to include your sister on your side of the wedding party or even a very close female friend. If you feel particularly close with female cousins or aunts, go ahead and ask them to stand up next to you.
Keep in mind that not everyone will feel comfortable with this kind of deviation from tradition. But, so long as you and your bride are comfortable with including women in your collection of wedding attendants, that is all that matters. Ultimately this is a day about you and the love of your life. Don’t let external forces dictate who you include in your special day.
How Old Should Groomsmen Be?
If you or your future wife have siblings or close cousins that are in the pre-teen to the teenage stage of life, you may be wondering if you can include them in the wedding party. In general, you will need at least one attendant who is of age, but feel free to include younger family members as junior attendants.
Junior attendants typically range in age from 11-15 and stand near the end of the row. When considering including anyone under age in your wedding, it is essential that you first ask permission from their parents.
Also, if you include young family members in your wedding, it is crucial that you are upfront with their parents about the cost of being included. In the case of junior groomsmen, consider footing the cost of attire or allowing them to wear a simpler outfit.
All in all, choosing who will stand next to you at your wedding is a matter of personal choice. Make sure that you and your future wife can rely on the people you feature, and always be respectful of your bride’s concerns. Choose as many attendants as you like, but keep in mind that more people can equal more stress.